I wasn't aware of this until recently, but apparently, the DVD version that is sold in stores today isn't the original version that was created back in 1982. Nine years ago, Steven Spielberg came up with the brilliant idea to celebrate the 20th anniversary of E.T. with a “new, improved, and enhanced” edition of a classic that did not need any alterations, or additions.
But why did he do it? I came up with several possibilities, you can pick the one that fits you best:
- he was bored out of his mind
- he wanted to piss off the fans
- he spent too much time with George Lucas
- he has a bad sense of humor
- all of the above
Regardless of the reason, E.T. is pissed, and he's never coming back to earth. If he did, it would be for the only purpose to exterminate us all, and Spielberg would only have himself to blame.
So, what did he do exactly?
In the original version, the government agents pursuing E.T. and Elliot had weapons in their hands, which was so traumatic upon viewing that parents had to send their kids to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. Fortunately for us, the last edition digitally replaces those terrible guns with Walkie-Talkies. Thank you Spielberg, our children are safe from psychological trauma. We owe you one!
So, what did he do exactly?
In the original version, the government agents pursuing E.T. and Elliot had weapons in their hands, which was so traumatic upon viewing that parents had to send their kids to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. Fortunately for us, the last edition digitally replaces those terrible guns with Walkie-Talkies. Thank you Spielberg, our children are safe from psychological trauma. We owe you one!
We waited 20 years for E.T to learn to articulate. It bothered us so much, we couldn't watch his lips. Thanks to computer-generated graphics, The movie was CGI-enhanced to make E.T.'s lips movement match the words more closely. Now we are 100% sure that was he wanted to phone home.
Everybody knows that audience need to be spoon fed, So, additional footage of E.T. running through the forest escaping agents at the start of the film help us understand that, yes, they are really running after him, and not some wild rabbit. If that wasn't enough, a shot of E.T. standing on top of a hill watching his ship leave was also added, in case we didn't realized he had missed it. I personally thought that he had decided to stay for an extended vacation.
The dialogue in which Elliot's mom tells his brother he's not going out looking like a terrorist, was removed in the 80s, but nobody noticed until 2002. It must have been a big issue, because the line was changed 2 times over the years. First, to “dressed like that” in the VHS version, then to “dressed like a hippie” in the anniversary edition. I think they should just go with "he-who-must-not-be-named", and change Michael's costume to Voldemort. Might as well!
The dialogue in which Elliot's mom tells his brother he's not going out looking like a terrorist, was removed in the 80s, but nobody noticed until 2002. It must have been a big issue, because the line was changed 2 times over the years. First, to “dressed like that” in the VHS version, then to “dressed like a hippie” in the anniversary edition. I think they should just go with "he-who-must-not-be-named", and change Michael's costume to Voldemort. Might as well!
So thank you for turning my favorite alien into a silly CGI puppet, thanks for the political correctness, and thanks for defacing a part of my childhood memories. I bow to you Mr Spielberg, and I can't wait for an enhanced edition of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. That will be the cherry on the cake!
In the mean time....
E.T. Is my all time favorite movie. I had no idea of all these changes which makes me mad too, I'm going to go cry like a little bitch now. :(
ReplyDeleteWhat is really sad that the only way to get the original is to buy the expensive 2 discs box set. 1982 version is a bonus feature now.. Bonus feature???
ReplyDelete